Do you ever get those moments in life where you think to yourself "everything is so ordered. Wow, look how far we've gone to to get here! So much hard work, for what? It is so beautifully and idealistically ordered that I could destroy it all right here and now and good god that would feel so good"? Sometimes I wonder if it's just me, but then I laugh at myself and remember what people are actually capable of. Sometimes I love the feeling that no one can hear my thoughts and that I am able to seem as much of an everyday sort of man as I can, but then I think in the parallel way that I have no understanding of what other people are thinking either. Underneath..do we all have an animalistic desire to tear things up and consume them? This intrigues me.
I'm sitting on a bus, the thought of all the online shopping and masturbation I will be able to do when I get back to the flat exhilarates me. Oh simple joys of a world so perfect and clever and perfect. I'm sitting next to a critically obese woman who has a terrible cold, such a terrible cold that I can hear her swallowing her phlegm and can even detect the sound of it dripping down slowly inside her throat. Her heavy breathing irritates me, and I wish she hadn't decided to sit here. She's reading a magazine called "Hello Gossip!". How inviting, they might of well of called it "Hello! You over-indulging waste of human flesh and organs! Look at all these women who will always and forever be better than you! Wonderful! Perfect!". When I get back to the flat I cry because I haven't felt another human being for over 15 years.
That's when it happens. The amazing 'it', the almost impossible to ignore, the life changing occurrence, the thing that will save me save all of us oh my dear god what is it what is it what is it?
I found a way to be alive.
I lifted my head up from my tear soaked pillow that lies on my semen stained bed, and slowly turned to face the computer sitting on the desk with broken, empty draws and a mug stained top. There it was, instantly almost like some unknown magic, a thought aroused from my balding head. It wasn't a thought, no that was a mistake to call it that, it was almost an awakening. Yes that's right. Awakening. Woken by who? I have always wondered, the fact is I knew I was not alone. Not this time, not any more, no siree, nuh-uh.
"You are the chosen one" they whispered.
"But I am no one" I answered back. I was just in denial, you see.
"you will save the lost souls!" they shouted. I laughed nervously because I laugh when I'm nervous, it's always been a big problem for me. It just happens all right? God you're so judgemental.
That was it. That was the day I came upon my meaningful doom, and I've got to be honest with you, it was a real tough thing to come to terms with.
Before I knew it I had addresses, people to meet and things to do. Sometimes even people to do. It was that wonderful! They were right. They were right in what they had told me and there were others who knew the truth too. We were powerful and we were changing the world. We weren't like other people, we were special, oh so very special in a way that your small, meaningless mind could never understand.
People didn't understand. They said what we were doing was wrong and that we should be punished. Oh how humorous ignorant, high-waisted jeans wearing, file keeping, sadistic bum-holes can be.
So they stopped us, but they didn't know that they couldn't stop them.
When they entered the room and placed a gun against my head I laughed so hard I pissed myself. They'll never stop them. No one ever will, and I am not a no one.
(Based on this Story Jam)
Fruit from this Jam:
Descent by Benjamin
pari libra by Envy
"They do not use anaesthetic." by Jan Flisek-Boyle
Morning Cereal by H.L.W.
The Unexpected by appylord57
Past Life by Vivian Peng
Out of Season by RichardLakin
The ethics of genocide by kouq
Them. by ustink
Dangerous Path by Zita Barlai
the disease by
Duck...Duck...Goose by Ameya
Ashes to Ashes by Jess Fechner
Cardinal by a-bigler